Back to the Old Me
by SSUndeniable
Summary: SS story post "The Ties That Bind" What happens when Seth comes home and Summer isn't waiting anymore?
1. Default Chapter

1Title: Back to the Old Me

Summary: Post-Ep for the Finale, what Summer felt over the summer when Seth was gone.

Disclaimer: As always, I own nothing

A/N: the first two chapters are sorta leading up to the real story part that I have written, and I promise that part is really good, please wait for those before you bash the story, these first few chapters aren't the best.

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I've been waiting for him

Waiting for that ass for 2 months, 3 days, and 6 hours

At first, I understood that he would need to get away after Chino left, I knew that he just needed time

But, when one day became a week, and a week became 3, I realized that I might be waiting for a while.

Realistically, I was pissed. I mean, what makes Cohen think that he can just leave and I'll just wait around forever?

But, I know I would wait, forever if I have to.

I know I shouldn't say or admit that, I mean before this year I didn't even know that he existed, never mind cared about him. But, now that I know him, I realize how much I need him and if I''m really honest, how much I love him and how much I do need him in my life.

I mean, before Cohen, I was a Newspie in training. I was shallow, I pretended to be dumb, and easy, just so boys would like me. I never had to pretend with Cohen, I mean, he even liked me when I was a bitch to him, when I ignored him, and made fun of him like everyone else.

And I've told Cohen things that I've never told anyone else about, not even Coop.

It's not like we talk all serious all the time; we joke and have fun, and I am so comfortable around him. Like I can really be Summer, the girl who wants a boyfriend who likes he because of her, not because of her boobs. I want that boyfriend that "sweeps me off my feet" and is corny and cheesy sometimes. I want Cohen.

If he doesn't come home, I don't have a choice though, I have to go back to being the old Summer, the Summer who was drunk at parties, the Summer who was a tease, and wanted to marry and investment banker.

I have to pretend that I never really liked him, that I was just pretending to like him, and assume my title as the bitchiest girl in Newport.

I have to go back to life I had before Seth Cohen, before I was really me.

Seth's POV

So I knew that when I got home, I wouldn't exactly be greeted like nothing had happened. I knew my parents would be mad at me, furious even.

And Summer, well I knew Summer might greet me in the midst of a rage blackout and threaten to never speak to me again. I thought that would be an idle threat and after I had begged for her forgiveness she would start calling me "Cohen" and complain about me playing ninja games.

Well, I was wrong.

Instead of a rage blackout I met Summer with a hangover. And hanging onto a guy. And not just any guy, a water polo player.

And when I tried to talk to her, he showed me away, "Get outta here, geek."

As used to that same comment, the Summer that I left in June might have come to my defense, but this Summer, she just looked up at the polo player, "Brad, can we leave please?"

Giving myself the benefit of the doubt, I chalked Summer's indifference up to her hangover and went to her house later that night with flowers.

A perky girl who looked like my girlfriend answered the door, "What do _you_ want? She asked as she proceeded to tap her foot impatiently.

"These are for you." I said as I handed her the bouquet of white roses, peonies, lilies of the valley and every other flower I remembered her liking.

With not so much of a glance she threw the flowers to the ground and made a move to shut the door in my face.

"Summer, wait! Please, I need to talk to you!"

"What?"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left, I should have asked you to come with me, I... I should have done something, anything else. Please, Summer, give me a chance, let me make it up to you."

"You're too late, Cohen."

She said as she shut her front door.

I yelled her name as I pounded on her door.

Finally after 20 minutes I gave up, I sat with my head in my hands and told myself what an ass I am. I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me.

She was better than when Ryan came. Sure, he made me fit in. Protected me from the polo jocks. And all around was my best friend. But her...God, she was everything.

I mean, sure she was a pain in the ass sometimes, and shallow. But that was the Summer she showed the outside world. My Summer, the side of herself that she only showed to me, that was the most amazing person I ever met in my life.

She was shy, not the loud and opinionated Summer you saw at school, but a quiet girl who was scared of the future.

Sure, she had her dad, but he wasn't always there. He loved her, gave her everything she wanted, but where was he at night when she was scared of the dark. She was lonely in that big house.

She was insecure about herself , Marissa was her best friend, but Marissa was always so involved with herself. Summer felt inferior next to the tall and thin Marissa. Marissa had dated the captain of every team, she was the most popular, and even though her home life was supremely messed up she had two parents who really did love her. Summer only had her dad, who as hard as he tried was never really there for her.

These are things she only told me. Told me, the only guy she ever trusted and cared about enough to sleep with. To trust to take care of her and to love her despite her insecurities, doubts, and fears.

And I blew it.

And now she's the old Summer, the one who hates me. Who ignores me, who wants nothing to do with the emo geek. She wants to be the Summer who wen to parties, the Summer who lived only to tan, and go to Fashion Island.

I guess I have to go back to the old Seth Cohen. Lonely loser with no friends, and certainly without a girl friend.

And I don't think I can forgive myself for losing the one person that I have truly been me with, the first person I could look at and say to myself "I love her." and not feel stupid about it, because I really do love her. And I guess I forgot to tell her, and now I've lost her forever.


	2. I'll Always

Chapter 2:

Summer's POV

God, Cohen is such an ass

I mean how am I supposed to be mad at him when he does sweet things like remember my favorite flowers. And show up on my doorstep looking so sad and wearing that polo I bought him in Abercrombie, even though his emo-geek self would never admit that he actually likes the store.

And ...grr, I want to be mad at him, I am. But, I don't think I can honestly stay mad at him, or even pretend to hate him when he does stuff like...like this, remembering things he shouldn't and being so sweet when, God, can't he just be an ass? Then I could just hate him and move on with my life.

I can't stay mad at him because...because he's Cohen, and despite everything, I love him.

But, in Newport Beach you can't just go back to the geek who abandoned you, you can't sacrifice your social standing for a second time, because in the O.C. you don't get third chances, hell you don't usually get second chances.

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Seth POV

I always knew that she was too good for me.

I mean the whole time we were together I was just waiting for her to realize what she was doing, I mean what kind of girl wants to be with me anyway?

And even if ten years of ridicule in Newport entitled me to some degree of happiness, I blew it. I took every good thing that had happened to me this year and threw it all away. The second I stepped on that boat, I walked away from her, and she was the best thing that ever happened to me, I mean it, the best thing.

This summer was supposed to be like last summer, different from every other summer I had ever experienced, Ryan and I were supposed to go sailing and take Summer and Marissa with us. I was supposed to get to spend the whole summer making out with my girlfriend and ignoring the prospect of college that loomed before us, but the second that Ryan said he was leaving everything changed.

It shouldn't have mattered, Chino isn't that far away.

But it did matter, Ryan made this town home for me. Without him, I never would have spoken to Marissa, or Luke, or God, even been close enough to Summer to see her. And I couldn't help but think that without him, things would go back to the way they were and I'd be alone.

It may have taken my leaving to realize it, But I had the best life, and I threw it away to hang out on a boat for two months. And in doing so, I lost the best thing in my life.

I love you, Summer, I'll always love you.


	3. Of drunken parties

Chapter 3

Thank you for the reviews, you people are awesome

Summer POV

There are five keys points for living in Newport Society and remaining popular.

Three out of five of those points involve the party scene.

Drink and get drunk

Hook up

Lie about it later

So I do the right thing. I dress myself in appropriate beach party attire, a skimpy bikini and shorts and do my hair. And I allow Brad to bing me to the party and put the first glass of beer in my hand.

Normally, I don't drink, I mean I used to at parties all the time, but after seeing what happened to Coop in TJ and not going to these parties with Cohen, I kinda gave it up. But, every time I think of Cohen I take another sip of whatever alcoholic beverage is shoved int my hand, and well, the pain sorta goes away.

An unidentifiable amount of colored plastic party cups later and I am beyond tipsy and Brad's water polo friends have egged him into trying to sleep with me.

If I hadn't had quite so many drinks, I may have seen through his motives before I was trapped in Holly's bedroom, with Brad trying to pull the skimpy top off my body.

"What the hell?" I scream as I push the horny asshole off of me.

"Come on, Summer. Don't you wanna?" He asks as he resumes his efforts to tear the clothes off of my body.

"Eww! No. Get off of me!" I scream as I try to push him off of me, but he's strong. Like way stronger than Cohen; he might even give Chino a run for his money.

But luckily, I am able to bring my knee up into his groin and he recoils with a groan.

I hurriedly make my way out of the room as I hear him yell out after me, "Go ahead run back to your dork, no one wants you anyway!"

Running out of the house, the world becomes a bit hazy, maybe because of the beer, or maybe because of the tears.

I hate this, I hate not being popular, I hate having to fight off rich boys who want to sleep with me. I miss Cohen.

Walking to my car, I realize that it's not here, seeing as Brad drove us over here.

I can't call Marissa, she's probably more drunk than I am. Daddy and the Step-monster aren't home. And all my "friends" are inside partying, no one's here to take me home. Damn it, what do I do?

As I sit on the front steps of Holly's house, I realize that I only have one option, and I am reluctant to take it, but I have three dollars in my wallet and no way to get home. So I do the one thing I swore to myself I would never do.

"Hey, Cohen, can you drive me home?" I ask into my cell phone when his groggy voice answers,

"Summer? I'll be right there."

I hear the click of the line going dead, and I wait.


	4. Passenger Seat

Chapter 4:

Whoo double-post–hope you all enjoy! Thanks for reading!

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_I roll the window down and then begin to breathe in_

"Are you sure you're okay, Summer?" Seth asks as he brings the Range Rover to a halt next to her and waits for Summer to get into the car.

_The darkest country road and the strong scent of evergreen _

_From the passenger seat as you are drivin' me home_

"Just drive, Cohen."

_Then looking upwards, I strained my eyes _

_and try to tell the difference between _

_shooting stars and satellites_

_From the passenger seat as you are driving me home_

_Do they-collide? I ask and you smile_

So that's what he did.

He wove his way down and through the streets he knew so well. Streets in a town he hated; where the people we fake, where only money and reputation mattered.

And a year ago, that's all this place was. An empty, awful place. It had no meaning, it was only a prison, the cage to his canary. He remained trapped in this town like a bird, just waiting for freedom.

But once the canary escaped to freedom, the smog of the foreign air constricted his lungs. Bore down on his chest like bricks. The bricks of guilt that pressed hard against him, squeezed his heart and lungs until he felt like he would die.

So, the bird flew home, wounded pride and deflated sense of self-importance. He realized that as much as he had wished to see the big bad world, he wasn't ready to escape the home he had always known.

He returned to a place he never expected to miss, never expected to miss it so badly that when he thought about it, it hurt.

Truthfully, it didn't hurt to think about Newport, it hurt to think about the things in Newport that made it home. The people and places that he remembered that he couldn't find anywhere else in the world.

The cliff overlooking the ocean where he and Summer used to go and watch the stars. The bakery where they sold Summer's favorite cookies, the plain ones with the chocolate blob and an M&M on top, and every other place in Newport where he could remember her. Every place where he saw her scrunch up her nose and say "eww," every place where she wined and said "please, Cohen" when she wanted him to do something for her.

It hurt to think about Newport because then he thought about her and how much it hurt to be away from her, and how his leaving probably hurt her. But, the worst part was thinking that she might not have been hurt, that she might not miss him at all. It hurt to think that she might be fine without him.

_With my feet on the dash, the world doesn't matter_

Eventually the less familiar homes faded and they found themselves in the driveway of Summer's big, white house.

The discouraging fact about said house was that, as protective of his daughter as Neil Roberts was, he had not even left a light on in the house for Summer when she chose to return. In actuality it appeared that at 2:00 in the morning no one was even home, let alone waiting for the seventeen year old to return from what was undoubtedly a drunken party.

Without a glance towards Seth, Summer exits the car with a quick "Thanks for the ride, Cohen."

Sad that she couldn't even look at him, Seth simply replied, "don't mention it, Summer"

But then he remembered that she had called him at 1:30 in the morning asking for a ride when, under normal circumstances, she would have avoided speaking to him at all, never mind asking him for favors.

Hopping out of the car he called out to her, "Summer, wait! Are you sure?...I mean, are you sure that you're okay? I could...umm... call Marissa? Or..."

"I told you, Cohen, I'm fine. I don't want anyone to even know this happened. I'll be fine, I'd rather be alone then embarrassed in the morning."

_When you feel embarrassed, I'll be your pride_

"Thanks for the concern"

So he nods his head and turns back towards the Rover to sit on the bumper.

"What are you doing?" she asks from the steps where she is digging for her keys.

"I just thought, maybe I'll just wait here until someone comes home."

"Wha.??." she began but she was cut off by his explanation

"I don't like the idea of you here by yourself, so I'll wait" He moved towards her and sat himself down on her front steps, ready to spend the night.

"Fine. Do whatever you want." She replied and walked into her home not giving the figure on her steps a second thought.

_When you need directions _

_Then I'll be the guide_

_For all time _

_for all time..._


	5. And All the Roads

Back to the Old Me

Chapter 5: And all the roads...

A/N: To all who reviewed, I LOVE YOU! I wouldn't write this story if I thought no one likes it, so please review! Also, I own nothing, don't sue me!

Also, when I named the guy Brad, I didn't mean Brad from "The Telenovella" that guy looked a little too drug addict for my tastes.

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Summer's POV

Its been twenty minutes and he's still out there. Just sitting there. He look so - sad? I guess.

And its cold; why does he want to sit there and freeze his bony ass off? Why does he care?

Does he remember that I hate it when Daddy and the Step-monster leave me alone at night? That I see weird shadow on my walls that freak me out, and if no one else is home I can't sleep?

God, how can I, like stay mad at him when he does stuff like this?

"Here." I say as I hand him a mug of coffee I just made.

If he's going to sit there all night, I can't let him freeze to death.

_Today's gonna be the day, but they'll never give it back to you_

When I get no response, I plop down next to him on the front steps and nudge him in the ribs with my elbow, "What's the deal, Cohen?"

He sighs and turns to me, "I'm worried about you, Summer. You're drunk and at parties and calling me for a ride. I'm -God, what the hell happened?"

What an idiot! What makes him think that he gets to worry about me? He certainly didn't worry when he left town for two months, without even saying goodbye.

"I don't have to answer that." I reply defiantly, if he won't tell me why he **had** to leave, I don't have to tell him anything.

"Summer, please, I just need to know that you're okay, that nobody hurt you or anything."

_By now you should've somehow realize what you gotta do_

Damn, him, why should !

"I'm not okay, I hate you! Dammit! And I hate that you left and that you hurt me so badly ! And I hate that even though I hate you, I hate not being with you!" I scream practically beating the words into him as I pound angrily on his chest.

"And what I hate the most is that I can't be me anymore. That I have to be the old Summer; I have to drink, and party, and fight off horny asshole polo players that want to sleep with me! And I just..."

Why am I crying? I'm trying to stop, I mean Summer Roberts doesn't cry. But, damn that Cohen, he opened his arms to me, and is pulling me into a hug. Damn those puppy dog eyes and him, looking at me like he feels sorry for me...

_I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now_

"Oh, Summer, come 'ere." He whispers as he rubs my back to try and stop the tears. I know he hates it when I cry.

So, I fall into his arms and cry into his stupid t-shirt with some obscure band no normal person has ever heard of. But, no one gives a hug like Cohen.

I feel like I did when I was five and daddy was actually home and actually gave me a hug rather than a check, like no matter what was wrong the strong man that was holding me could make it all better.

Can you make it better, Cohen?

After sitting in silence, aside from my sobs, for about ten minutes, Cohen stops stroking my hair and I hear him mumble out something.

"What?" I question

"I said 'promise me something'" He replies as I pull away from his embrace to look at him

"What is it?"

_Backbeat the word was on th street that the fire in your heart is out_

"I know that you might never forgive me, and as much as that sucks and I don't want it to happen, it might. And I want you to find someone else. Find someone who makes you happy, makes the real Summer happy."

_I'm sure you've heard it all before but you never really had a doubt _

"Because, Summer, if I can't be the one who makes you happy, I want someone else to. You're too special and I love you too much to see you unhappy."

_I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now_

"And, Summer, if your being happy means that I have to walk away and not be with you, well, I'll do it."

_And all the roads we have to walk along are winding_

_and all the lights that lead us there are blinding_

Instead of responding, I just sunk back into the comforting embrace that only Cohen could provide, and we just stood there.

_There are many things that I would like to say to you_

_But I don't know how_

As he held me in his arms, I realized that no matter how mad I am with him, he really cares about me. Loves me! He would sacrifice his own happiness just to be with me.

_Because maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me?_

And I realized that if giving something up meant it would make Cohen happy, I'd probably do it too. I love him, and I'd do anything to make sure he was happy.

Oh, God, I love him.

And he loves me.

And I'm comfortable with him, I'm the real Summer.

Not Marissa's best friend or some random hot chick at a party.

The REAL Summer.

_And after all, you're my wonderwall_

"Hey, Cohen" I mumble as I pull back from the embrace

"Yeah?"

"I promise."

And then, I kissed him.

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Yay! Another chapter. Please review! Should I leave it here or continue?

click the purple button!


	6. Uncertainty Grips Me

Back to the Old Me Chapter 6: Uncertainty Grips Me  
  
3rd POV  
  
Lanky fingers weave through dark tresses her french manicured fingers twist the short curls at the base of his neck  
  
Seth, reluctant to pull away from Summer's embrace, moves his arms down her body; one hand at the small of her back to draw her closer.  
  
With a breathy sigh Summer pulls away and tilts her head, giving Seth full access to her neck.  
  
She grasps tightly to his shoulder and grabs another fist full of curls as she closes her eyes as he begins to pay homage to her body. A body he has missed desperately since the day he left.  
  
Eventually her pants for air begin to form sounds and later words,  
"Cohen...Oh God! Cohen! I missed you..."  
  
But then her eyes open and she pulls back  
  
"Summer, what?" he questions as he searches her eyes , hoping that she hasn't changed her mind hoping against hope that somehow she really has found a way to forgive him, to believe in him, in them again.  
  
Looking into her eyes he says a prayer to anyone who'll listen, Jesus and Moses help him, he needs his Summer again.  
  
Hazel meets brown; she has her answer  
  
"I just... I had to make sure that its real. You, back. Us, here, everything. I just, God Cohen, I sound like you, rambling..."  
  
She looks down, abashed and afraid that he'll disappear from in front of her. Her chance to be the real Summer disappearing right before her eyes. She squeezes her eyes shut tight and waits for disappointment. After all, its always better to anticipate the worst.  
  
Rather than answering right away, he pulls her small frame towards him. Her 5 feet and four inches dwarfed by his 6 feet and 2 inch frame; her dark hair tucked securely under his chin, as his arms move to fully support her.  
  
He can't believe that she is nervous, after being so worried about getting her back, so worried about losing her to the legions of Newpsies that circle like vultures just waiting to corrupt the young into following their inane social rules, she's worried. Ha almost laughs out loud, the last thing he would ever do is let go of Summer again, not after losing her once, he just can't do it again. God, he just can't.  
  
He holds her, content to have her safely in his arms with the sweet smell of her light perfume drifting up to his nostrils. Pulling her in even closer and inhaling deeper he tells her, "it's real. It's all real. It has to be."  
  
Pulling her head from beneath his chin, she peers up at him with big innocent eyes and asks in a small voice, "promise?"  
  
She prays that he'll say yes. How much more can she endure if he says no?  
  
His hands trace a path from the top of her head to her cheeks where his thumbs trace her cheekbones ans wipe away the stray tears that mar her otherwise flawless skin as he answers her question, "Always, Summer. From now on, its all real. You and me."  
  
Satisfied with his answer, she feel back into his arms. Resting her head over his heart, as the steady beat reassuring her that her Cohen was home, and that just maybe things might be okay.  
  
After a few moments in the solace of his arms Summer feels Seth pull away from her slightly; confused, she looks up at him.  
  
"It's cold, lets get you inside" he says as he wraps an arm around her petite frame  
  
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Once inside the massive palace of white that Summer calls home, Seth follows an emotionally and physically exhausted Summer up the stairs.  
  
And together, they collapsed onto the pink silk comforter that covered her bed, the bed where they had first slept with each other, the bed where they had bared their souls and talked about the future they might have together.  
  
And limbs entwined, Summer on top of Seth's chest, they slept. Silence filled the room, except for the beating of two hearts in synchronicity.  
  
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I know, kinda minty, but I had to end it that way. Keep reading and review! Another new chapter to follow! Thanks to all who actually came back to read! :)


	7. The Day

Back to the Old Me Chapter 7: The Day  
  
_twenty-four oceans _

_twenty-four skies twenty-four failures _

_and twenty-four tries _

_t__wenty-four finds me _

_In the twenty-fourth place _

_with twenty-four dropouts at the end of the day  
_  
Sunlight, true California sunshine, filtered through sheer pink draperies in Summer's bedroom, casting a radiant bronze of her face. And as Seth opened his eyes, all he could see was the sheer radiance of the morning light on Summer's skin; and he knew he was home.  
  
No other place in the world, no matter how beautiful, breathtaking, or special could ever hope to compare with the sight of Summer curled up on his chest.  
  
In sleep, Summer showed dependency. She would hold onto him, cling to him as if her very life depended on it.  
  
_Life is not what I thought it was t_

_wenty-four hours ago _

_Still I'm singing Spirit _

_take me up in arms with You _

_And I'm not who I thought I was _

_twenty four hours ago _

_Still I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You  
_  
And he let her. If Summer needed someone to hold on to, it was going to be him. Content to just watch Summer sleep, Seth settled back against the pillowed and watched as Summer took in small breaths.  
  
His peaceful mediation was interrupted by the blaring of the clock radio. As the latest Britney Spears song announced that yes, indeed, it was 8:00 in the morning, Seth's face was greeted by Summer's hand flying directly at his nose.  
  
WHACK  
  
Summer, in an attempt to silence the early morning intrusion, had mistaken Seth's nose for the snooze button.  
  
"Ow!" Seth yelled as he pushed Summer off of him.  
  
"Cohen?" Summer questioned as she opened her eyes, only to realize that the radio was still on and that Seth was now cradling his nose.  
  
"Good morning to you too, Summer" Seth mumbled through his hands  
  
"Oh, Cohen! I'm sorry! Lemme see," she says as she pushes his hands away to look at his nose  
  
After a moment of inspection, she comments, " you're fine, Cohen. Don't be such a baby"  
  
"I'm sorry, Summer, some people don't expect bodily harm as a wake up call."  
  
"Get over it, Cohen. C'mon I'm hungry. Let's go!"  
  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX As Seth and Summer sat at the island in the kitchen munching on cocoa puffs, Seth stopped eating and looked at her. He watched as the sun captured the facets in her hair and how stunningly beautiful she was, without even trying. Without makeup, her hair was a mess, and to Seth, she was just as beautiful as he had ever seen her.  
  
Summer, noticing that Seth had stopped eating, turned to Seth, "What?"  
  
"You. You're just so beautiful, Summer."  
  
"Cohen..."  
  
"I love you." he blurted out, and then bashful, he turned back to his cocoa puffs  
  
Sure, Seth had indirectly told her that he loved her before, but this time, he just said it. Clear, out loud and direct, that he, Seth Cohen, loved her. The fact that he could tell her he loved her when her hair was sticking out of her ponytail at weird angles and she looked like she hadn't slept in a week, made her really understand that he loves her. And not just loves her when he needs to tell her, but all the time.  
  
So she got up and walked over to him and ran her hands through his messy curls and tilted his chin up so he was looking at her when she told him, "I love you too, Cohen."  
  
The sincerity of the statement shown in her eyes, as Summer Roberts let down her guard and allowed Seth to see her true feelings for him.  
  
Standing to embrace her Seth engulfed Summer into a tight hug, and laughed out loud.  
  
"What are you laughing about?" She demanded, hoping that he wasn't laughing at her.  
  
"It's just who would have thought you and I would ever have this much drama, Summer. I think we are stumbling into Ryan/Marissa territory here. What with the crying and the brooding and the hugging..."  
  
Summer cuts him off with a quick slap to the arm and comments, "You should be so lucky, Cohen. If I were Coop I never would have stuck with that train wreck of a relationship."  
  
"Summer!"  
  
"What? It's true! Between the two of them its like living in a soap opera. And this is Orange County, people are supposed to be happy."  
  
"If you say so, Summer, if you say so."  
  
The sound of the phone broke the silence that surrounded the couple, and Summer moved to answer it.  
  
"Hello?" "Sum? It's me. Have you seen Seth?" Marissa's voice asked over the phone "Yeah. Why? What's goin' on, Coop?" "Its...umm...Caleb and Kirsten were just arrested at the house" Marissa's said.  
  
Seth, looked to Summer to see what Marissa had told her, and for once Summer Roberts had nothing to say.  
  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I know, I know, weak chapter but its just filler for future chapters if anyone wants me to continue.  
  
P.S. review and leave suggestions/story ideas–I'm open to suggestions


	8. Home

Back to the Old Me

Chapter 8

AN: I own nothing as usual!

R&R, and that following is based on my own ideas for next season, not spoilers. I live as spoiler free as possible until November 4th.

The song is "Home" by Switchfoot

I LOVE everyone who reviewed

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_It's a long way from Miami to LA_

_It's a longer way from yesterday to where I am today_

_It's a long way from my thoughts to what I'll say_

_It's a long, long way from paradise to where I am today_

There are some moments that pass in the blink of an eye. And if you even attempted to remember them, you mind would only recall the blur of action and vague details of motion. These are the moments people wish to remember, things they wish they could preserve in their mind for all eternity. Like the snapshots framed on the mantle, easy to retrieve and revisit that time of joy without hesitation.

Other moments drag on for aeons, impressing their own breed of fear, discontent, horror, malice, hatred, or rage upon us with an unforgiving harshness that is unrelenting. These are the moments that haunt us in sleep, in solitude, and grip us with fear and sadness to feel as if we have never felt before in our lives.

Thus is the moment that gripped onto Summer relentlessly that early October morning, the morning she had to tell the boy she had lost and now regained that his mother and grandfather had been arrested. That they might go to jail, that their money might be gone. And it scared her.

I did not scare her to think that Seth wouldn't have money, that didn't matter to the new Summer. What mattered was that Seth might lose his mother, and if Seth lost his mother, he would lose his father, and that meant that Summer would lose Seth, again.

"Sum?"

After a pause, Summer's reverie was broken by the concerned, and not fully inebriated voice of Marissa Cooper.

"I'm still here, Coop."

"Sandy went down to the station to try and bail them out. I told him I'd get a hold of Seth; his cell is off and he's not at home. Is he with you, Sum?"

After a full minute of silence on the line Marissa called Summer again, "Summer?"

Looking away from Seth as he ate his cereal like a three year old, with milk dribbling down his chin and eyes fully focused on the fun maze on the back of the box, Summer found her voice and answered, "yeah he's here."

"Okay, umm...Sandy said to meet here, his house, in like an hour. I guess we'll figure everything else out then."

Answered only by the click of the phone, Marissa had no choice but to hang up.

Summer looked at Seth, _could she be the one to tell him? Break his heart like he had hers? _

_All that's in my head_

_Is in your hands_

The old Summer would have done it in a heartbeat. The old Summer would have walked over to him and told him he would never see his mother again.

But not this Summer.

Walking over to the counter, Summer began replacing the old filter and grounds in the coffee maker and started the machine. Unfortunately for her, as she swung herself up to sit on the counter, Seth noticed that her hands were shaking and that she couldn't look him in the eyes.

"Summer? What's going on?" He asked as he rose from the stool, and walked to stand between her legs that were swinging from side to side as she perched on the counter top.

"Nothing, Cohen" she replied as she looked at her hands

Knowing that she was lying, Seth moved in closer to her and nudged her chin up so that she was looking in his eyes, and placing his hands on her hips, he asked her again, "Summer?"

Guilt. Summer felt guilty. _She couldn't lie to him. Or could she?_ _Would he still love her if she lied to him to spare him pain?_ Looking into his concerned brown eyes, Summer saw his trust and knew that if she didn't tell him soon, she would lose his trust and that was the last thing she ever wanted to do.

Realizing that she couldn't put off telling him any longer, Summer gathered her courage and looked into his eyes. She saw love there, no doubt. But, she worried that maybe after she told him the news, that his love for her would run out that he would see everything that is wrong with her and leave her alone.

"Seth, ummm . . . this is hard to say," she paused to breathe, and looked at Seth once more.

_It's a long way from the moon up to the sun_

_It's a longer road ahead of me, the road that I've begun_

_Stop to think of all the time I've lost_

_Start to think of all the bridges that I've burned that must be crossed_

What she saw amazed her, she could literally feel his love for her pouring from his gaze; she could feel the trust, and admiration he felt for her just from the light pressure he applied on her side, and the gentleness of his touch as he stroked from her forehead to the ends of her raven colored hair. And she knew that no matter what happened outside of their relationship, what they felt for each other would always be there. And breathing in one more time, she told him what Marissa had called to tell him.

"Coop called. And umm...yourmomandCaleb,Imeanyourgrandpa,werearrested." She blurted, hoping that the faster she said it, the less painful and shocking it would be for Seth to hear.

Silence, painful slow silence, followed her admission and it was then that the world stopped for Seth Cohen.

_Over, over, over_

_take me over_

He experienced his agonizing moment, where mere seconds stretched on like lifetimes before his eyes. Where every torturous moment he had every known seemed insignificant compared to this moment.

"What?!?!" Seth finally managed to whisper

As his hands started to grip her a little tighter, Summer realized that he had heard her, that he knew what she said, and Cohen wasn't ready to accept it just yet.

_I've been poison _

_I've been rain_

_I've been fooled again_

_I've seen ashes_

_Shine like chrome_

_Someday I'll see home_

_home, home_

"She said that your dad wants everyone to meet at your house in an hour," and after reaching for his face, "God, Cohen, I'm sorry."

Pulling him into her arms, Summer grasps Seth tightly in her arms, hoping that by holding him, she can absorb some of the pain that she fears consumes him.

Running her fingers through his hair, and placing soft kisses on his forehead, she hears him respond to her, "thank you"

"Oh, Cohen, you don't have to...lets go change, and then we can leave" She says as she moves down from the cool marble counter top to stand next to Seth. Rubbing small circles on his back as they leave the kitchen until he reaches for her hand.

Hands and arms intertwined, the duo moved from the kitchen. Both, with heads bend forward and silent. Summer, aware of Seth's sadness, says nothing until he bends down to kiss her.

Softly his lips meet hers in a kiss of gratitude for her compassion, and as their foreheads meet, they feel connected in a way they never have before.

Her thumb presses over his brow line and her hand moves to cup his cheek. Searching her eyes, he saw her. The real her, and knew that he's found her; his Summer. And that everything will be alright.

_I can see the stars from way down here _

_But I can't fall asleep behind the wheel _

_It's a long way from the shadows in my cave _

_Up to your reality to watch the sunlight taking _

_over, over, taking over_

_take me over_

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Yay! Another chapter done! Please review!!!


	9. Awkward Sets In

Back to the Old Me

Chapter 9: awkward sets in

AN: Sorry this took so long-school is my enemy!!

PLEASE REVIEW! I don't want to write this story if no one wants to read it!

Also, I am spoiler free, everything I wrote and am writing was/is speculative and the product of my own crazy head– worry not!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, the OC belongs to Josh and the lyrics belong to U2

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Seth, Summer, and Marissa all sat in silence on the beige couch in the Cohen living room.

While Marissa stared at the kitchen doorway waiting for Ryan and her father to return with the coffee they had left to make a few minutes ago, Seth and Summer sat next to each other holding hands. Summer's thumb rubbing tiny circles on the back of Seth's hand, while his other arm balanced on the arm of the sofa.

Finally, Jimmy and Ryan returned with a tray of mugs and offered the hot beverages to the others in the room.

Seth, who was staring into space, declined only when the mug was practically shoved in his face, while all the others accepted and glanced at the clock to check the time again.

Silence filled the room, as the four of them quietly waited for Sandy to return.

Seth and Summer changed positions, her, leaning against his chest, while one hand held her to him and the other held onto the coffee she had abandoned.

The distinct slamming of a car door made everyone in the room jump in surprise and rise to their feet.

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Unfortunately for the foursome, the person who had arrived was not Sandy with good news, but rather it was Julie.

Julie Cooper Nichol was not a woman you wanted to encounter when she was mad, and Julie was furious.

"Marissa! Why the hell didn't you call me! I'm at the spa getting a manicure when I see on _the news_ that my husband has been arrested, and you didn't even call to tell me! I cannot believe you!"

"But, mom, you said your phone would be off, and Sandy said not to worry you."

"I don't care what he said! God, does anyone in this town ever think of me?! Do they realize how humiliating it is for me to be told by my manicurist that my own husband is a criminal!" Julie ranted.

Every one in the room, disgusted by Julie's selfishness, had nothing to say and chose to ignore her yelling, causing only to make Julie angrier.

"Hello?! Is anyone listening?" Julie yelled out, pissed that no one was paying any attention to her.

"Julie, just sit down and shut up!" Jimmy yelled, "this isn't about you."

Julie, pissed that she was yelled at sat down and shot angry glances at her exhusband until they heard to door open.

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Sandy Cohen entered his living room with his head down.

"Dad!" Seth yelled "Where's mom? And grandpa?"

Sandy sighed and moved towards his son to give him the bad news.

"Let's all sit and I'll explain everything" Sandy said, hoping to keep everyone calm.

"What's goin' on, Sandy?" Ryan, who had been silent the whole time, finally asked

"Well, Kirsten and Caleb are being brought up on a number of charges, and usually they would be arraigned today or tomorrow." Sandy paused and looked around the room.

Seth and Summer were holding hands, and so were Ryan and Marissa.

Julie looked pissed off and Jimmy, well, he just looked mad to be near Julie

"But," Sandy continued, "since it's a holiday, they won't be arraigned until after Thanksgiving. Anyway, that means that I can't get them out, or bail them out until they are indited, which won't be until Monday."

"So that means...?" Seth questioned

"You mother and Caleb will be in lock up until then"

Then, the room burst into uproar

"We can't just leave them there!""This can't be legal! How can they do that?"

"Sandy, we can't leave Kirsten in lock up. Those women, they'll...they'll hurt her. It's not safe. Can't you just get her out?" Ryan quietly asked, speaking from his own experience in lock up.

"You know that if I could I'd do anything I could to get her out, kid, you know that." Sandy said, already knowing that Ryan knew just how hard he had worked to keep Kirsten out of jail.

"But, Dad...why?" Seth finally asked

Sandy sighed, and sat down to begin to explain, "apparently the DA has been compiling evidence for the past few months, showing all kinds of underhanded deals Caleb has been making with city officials. Unfortunately, since your mother is his second in command, she's implicated for all of his illegal activities. And basically will be tried under the same charges even though she didn't do anything wrong."

"So, is mom going to jail?" Seth asked

Sandy knew he couldn't lie and he also knew that he didn't know the truth yet. So, he shrugged and said, "I hope not."

The room was silent for a full moment, Summer grabbed Seth's hand, and across the room, Marissa did the same to Ryan.

Sandy excused himself, saying he had phone calls to make, while the others disbursed themselves throughout the house.

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"Now you add two tsps of butter, Coop." Summer dictated as she read from the cookbook in front of her on the counter top in the kitchen of the Cohen house

"What's a tsp, Sum?"Marissa asked, clearly never having had cooked before except for the occasional macaroni and cheese.

"Ugghh, Coop, how am I, like, supposed to know. Just," she replied and then chopping the stick of butter into small pieces said, "grab like some of those chunks and throw them in...it'll be fine." And then, after a pause, "right?"

"Yeah, sure Sum, it'll be great!" Marissa exclaimed with enthusiasm while looking dubiously at the concoction in front of her.

Summer and Marissa had volunteered to make thanksgiving dinner for everyone this year since Rosa had been given the day off and Seth didn't feel up to it, considering how poorly it all went last year, and the current situation. And well, no one else knew how to cook either.

So, Summer volunteered herself and Marissa to hopefully feed an entire house full of people.

It wasn't going well

The turkey was most definitely frozen even though it was in the oven for _like a really long time_ according to Summer, and well most of the things that required tsps weren't looking quite right.

Well, everything except the corn. Ryan had volunteered to take care of anything on the grill since neither Summer, nor Marissa had ever even used one before, and Summer wanted to make sure Seth's favorite vegetable was at least edible.

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Meanwhile, Julie sat in Sandy's office, hounding him with questions.

When were they getting out?

If Caleb went to jail, would she loose everything?

Where would she go if that happened?

Finally, Sandy had enough and kicked Julie out of his office and locked the door behind her.

So, while Julie wandered the house looking for someone to complain to, and Marissa, Summer, and Ryan were "cooking," Seth sat in his room staring at the walls.

He wondered how one of the greatest nights of his life could have lead to one of the worst days he had ever experienced.

How the day he got his girlfriend back would also be the day he lost his mother. And although rationally, Seth knew he hadn't lost his mother, that she would be home soon. But, someday, she might be in prison. And what would they do without her? How could Sandy run the house without Kirsten? And how could he and Ryan try and figure out their own girl problems if they aren't confronted with the grossness that is Sandy and Kirsten everyday?

Seth sat alone and thought

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Summer and Marissa set the table while they waited for the rest of their "dishes" to be ready, hoping that at least one thing was edible.

The other occupants of the house began to file into the kitchen once the smell of food reached their noses, but Summer noticed that Seth was no where to be found.

Taking off her apron and turning to Marissa she said, "watch the turkey, Coop, I'll be right back."

Summer took the stairs, knowing that if Seth wasn't playing video games, there was a good chance he was in his room, talking to Captain Oats.

Knocking on the door, Summer noticed how odd it was to walk to Seth's door and not hear any music playing. Usually, Seth had some whiny emo-band playing in the background whenever she even came near his bedroom. But, she figured, they had all changed over the summer, not everything would still be the same.

Entering the room, Summer found Seth sitting on the floor by his bed.

"Cohen?" She asked quietly, hoping to get his attention without startling him

When she received no response, she moved closer to him and put her hand gently on his shoulder, only then did she realize that he was crying.

_Tough, you think you've got the stuff_

_You're telling me and anyone _

_You're hard enough _

_Y__ou don't have to put up a fight _

_You don't have to always be right _

_Let me take some of the punches For you tonight_

Moving to kneel in front of him, Summer bent down to meet Seth's eyes, "Seth." she whispered

she got only an embarrassed grin in response

So, taking charge, she sat down on the floor and pulled Seth's hand into her own, and pulling on it, demanded his attention.

"What's wrong, baby?" she whispered

Seth, knowing he couldn't answer her, just shrugged

"Seth, it's going to be okay. You know that right? We'll get through it, all of us." and after realizing she had told him that before, she continued, "don't leave us again, we're all here for you."

_Listen to me now _

_I need to let you know _

_You don't have to go it alone _

_And it's you when I look in the mirror _

_And it's you when I don't pick up the phone _

_Sometimes you can't make it on your own _

Seth's teary eyes met hers and Summer pulled Seth's head into her lap and stroked his hair, letting him cry with the comfort of her hands in his hair.

_Listen to me now _

_I need to let you know _

_You don't have to go it alone_

_And it's you when I look in the mirror _

_And it's you when I don't pick up the phone _

_S__ometimes you can't make it on your own _

_Where are we now? _

_I've got to let you know _

_A house still doesn't make a home _

_Don't leave me here alone... _

_And it's you when I look in the mirror _

_And it's you that makes it hard to let go _

_Sometimes you can't make it on your own _

_Sometimes you can't make it _

_The best you can do is to fake it _

_Sometimes you can't make it on your own _

And after letting Seth cry for a few minutes, Summer bent down to kiss his brow.

"C'mon, Cohen. I left Coop in charge of the kitchen we might never eat anything at all if we don't get back there soon"

Seth let out a small laugh, but made no move to surrender his position on the floor.

So, Summer used the pads of her thumbs to wipe away his tears, and kissed Seth fully on the lips. Then, standing, she extended her hand to the boy on the floor. "Seth, I'm serious, I know how much you love thanksgiving, we need your help. All we have done is corn, cause I put Chino in charge of it, I know its one of your favorites."

"Really?" Seth asked, surprised that Summer had remembered

"Yeah, Cohen, its kind of hard to forget"

Seth then grabbed Summer's hand and stood to stand next to her. And holding onto each other, they made their way downstairs to survey the damage.


End file.
